The Struggles with My Memoir and Learning to Heal Again
Writing my memoir has become one of the hardest things I’ve attempted in all my career. I do like a challenge, that is why some of the short story submissions that have been published have been out of my comfort zone, but that’s all fiction. Writing non-fiction for me has become a new level of difficult and I know why. It’s always been easy for me to make up worlds and situations with my characters to be placed but talking about my life hasn’t always been easy. Even those that know me offline can tell you I keep my circle of friends very small. I don’t open to just anyone.
Part of me trying to get over my introverted nature and quietness about myself is me posting the Story Time series. I can talk about my experiences in writing and sharing advice that may help, that’s non-fiction, but that isn’t quite the same as what I’m taking on while writing my memoirs. So here I sit in a struggle. The one of me surviving abuse has been the hardest. It’s been worked on over the years. It’s hard because it’s so personal. One it’s published all that buy it will know all my worries, my struggles, and pass their judgements upon me, my life, my loved ones, and my situations.
I worry about the feedback before it’s even finished and that adds to my struggle. I have had to learn to re-heal from what I went through unaware that it would be a journey that would open wounds I thought I had healed and scarred over. It’s been hard. I even went into therapy to help myself cope with the nightmares, the trigger dreaming, and the way my body handled the things I thought I had recovered from. It’s raw emotionally for me to write about what I am, but I continue because I feel its so important to share my story. I am not alone, sadly, in this type of abuse and surviving it, but it’s the not being alone and surviving that fuels my need to publish this out.
Through the journey I want to get this memoir out. As of what has been occurring, I am not sure when this will come out. I have high hopes the end of the year. I do not know many publishes or even editors that will take up the challenge of a memoir much less one on this type of subject matter.