Dear Younger Self,
You don’t know it yet but things are going to be getting easier. I know you’re lonely, feel like a weirdo, and feel as if nothing will ever change, but it does. In the next couple of years you will meet someone that changes the direction of your life.
He will accept everything about you and for everything else he’ll tolerate it because he loves you so much. The feeling will be mutual. In fact, you’ll get married to him a few more years later and have a child. You’re still married and that child is thriving as I type this.
I know…I know…you’re thinking I’m full of it. I remember being in disbelief a lot of the time and having such an overwhelming dreadful feeling. Feeling caged all of the time and simply escaping into writing, it will change for the better. Learning patience is a challenge you’ll overcome and then must teach to someone much more important that will come into your life.
There’s a lot of things that you will simply have to learn and experience, but that’s okay. You haven’t learned yet that all of the bad and all of the good experiences, even people, are lessons to be learned.
You’ll lose touch with a lot of people, but some will resurface. It’ll be okay. I know you need to hear that, it’ll be okay. You have just started to learn things can be okay and have already learned that people come and go in your life, it’s apart of life that won’t change. You will eventually learn those that matter will be around a lot longer and that’s when you will also learn that you’re lovable and worthy of love.
There are dark times ahead. We’ve never faltered when having to face the darkness before, we just never knew that the situation was ‘dark’ at the time we just shrugged things off as ‘just another day’. I won’t go into it fully, how dark things will get because at the age I am now you’ve learned to look for the light at the end of the tunnel and the positive that comes from struggle. There is a lesson in the dark, you will find it, and you will survive even if you felt you weren’t going to.
Love, Your Older Self