Tag Archives: memoirs

The Memoir Project Canceled

For those that have been following me on social media for some time you may have noticed me talking about a memoir I’ve struggled to write for years. This memoir is one that has been difficult for many reasons, the biggest reason being that it deals with some very personal things from my childhood. This is a story I feel is important to tell, it’s one I want to tell, but sadly it is one that will currently to be canceled on my projects list.

I’ve been open about the childhood trauma and abuse I have survived. From living with a narcissist parent to my journey coping with a very abusive sibling, these are difficult topics for me to tackle. I work everyday on self-care to help me cope with the things I’ve endured, but I’ve realized, though the story is very important for raising awareness, it is one I cannot bring myself to continue at this point in time.

These struggles and my survival stories are hard to understand, at times, for those I have told them to. As a writer, I have often found that I cannot find the right words to express my life or my emotions while truly believing that all that I have endured have given me strength through surviving and passing on the wisdom I have gained through my traumas.

I shared some of my stories here under ‘story-time’ articles, but those, I have come to realize, only highlighted my personal beliefs of my life and family through a ‘nicer’ filter. Though my life had what felt like brief moments of general ‘goodness’, those are the moments I would like to hold closest to me. The good times got me through a lot of the darkness, which seemed around every corner I turned growing up and even into my adult life.

I also believe this memoir or set of memoirs would upset some of my family upon publication. I may live a more open lifestyle and life many of my family prefers privacy and out of respect to those that would want this I will grant it to them, for the time being.

One day the story/stories will be released for readers, but now is not the time to do it. I apologize. The closest readers will get to see into my life is through my dark poetry. Two collections are currently out, but plans of a third is in the works.

The Struggles with My Memoir and Learning to Heal Again

Writing my memoir has become one of the hardest things I’ve attempted in all my career. I do like a challenge, that is why some of the short story submissions that have been published have been out of my comfort zone, but that’s all fiction. Writing non-fiction for me has become a new level of difficult and I know why. It’s always been easy for me to make up worlds and situations with my characters to be placed but talking about my life hasn’t always been easy. Even those that know me offline can tell you I keep my circle of friends very small. I don’t open to just anyone.

Part of me trying to get over my introverted nature and quietness about myself is me posting the Story Time series. I can talk about my experiences in writing and sharing advice that may help, that’s non-fiction, but that isn’t quite the same as what I’m taking on while writing my memoirs. So here I sit in a struggle. The one of me surviving abuse has been the hardest. It’s been worked on over the years. It’s hard because it’s so personal. One it’s published all that buy it will know all my worries, my struggles, and pass their judgements upon me, my life, my loved ones, and my situations.

I worry about the feedback before it’s even finished and that adds to my struggle. I have had to learn to re-heal from what I went through unaware that it would be a journey that would open wounds I thought I had healed and scarred over. It’s been hard. I even went into therapy to help myself cope with the nightmares, the trigger dreaming, and the way my body handled the things I thought I had recovered from. It’s raw emotionally for me to write about what I am, but I continue because I feel its so important to share my story. I am not alone, sadly, in this type of abuse and surviving it, but it’s the not being alone and surviving that fuels my need to publish this out.

Through the journey I want to get this memoir out. As of what has been occurring, I am not sure when this will come out. I have high hopes the end of the year. I do not know many publishes or even editors that will take up the challenge of a memoir much less one on this type of subject matter.