For those that have been following me on social media for some time you may have noticed me talking about a memoir I’ve struggled to write for years. This memoir is one that has been difficult for many reasons, the biggest reason being that it deals with some very personal things from my childhood. This is a story I feel is important to tell, it’s one I want to tell, but sadly it is one that will currently to be canceled on my projects list.
I’ve been open about the childhood trauma and abuse I have survived. From living with a narcissist parent to my journey coping with a very abusive sibling, these are difficult topics for me to tackle. I work everyday on self-care to help me cope with the things I’ve endured, but I’ve realized, though the story is very important for raising awareness, it is one I cannot bring myself to continue at this point in time.
These struggles and my survival stories are hard to understand, at times, for those I have told them to. As a writer, I have often found that I cannot find the right words to express my life or my emotions while truly believing that all that I have endured have given me strength through surviving and passing on the wisdom I have gained through my traumas.
I shared some of my stories here under ‘story-time’ articles, but those, I have come to realize, only highlighted my personal beliefs of my life and family through a ‘nicer’ filter. Though my life had what felt like brief moments of general ‘goodness’, those are the moments I would like to hold closest to me. The good times got me through a lot of the darkness, which seemed around every corner I turned growing up and even into my adult life.
I also believe this memoir or set of memoirs would upset some of my family upon publication. I may live a more open lifestyle and life many of my family prefers privacy and out of respect to those that would want this I will grant it to them, for the time being.
One day the story/stories will be released for readers, but now is not the time to do it. I apologize. The closest readers will get to see into my life is through my dark poetry. Two collections are currently out, but plans of a third is in the works.